The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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