just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
