Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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