i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
