you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
