Plan B is the new Plan A
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
