I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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