I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
