She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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