Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
