the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
