bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
In America we eat man semen.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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