Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
my phone needs a breathalizer
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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