bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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