there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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