I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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