About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
