Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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