At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i will never coherently bang her
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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