I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
