He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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