Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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