At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
