why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
