you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
