it's great music for shaving your balls
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
