Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
PANTIES FOUND
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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