it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
