dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
