How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
