Nicole vs. Life
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
