Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
