So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
