...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
