Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
