I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
