just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just want nice things and good sex
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
