What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
he just fucked me for my cheese.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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