if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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