Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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