Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
