mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I hope mine doesn't look like that
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just cropdusted the office
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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