just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
