Acid is not a monday night drug
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
