Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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