im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
