He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
