they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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