I'm eating all of the evidence.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
