She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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