How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
