Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
