just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you didnt know i had herpes?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
